Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Flash Fiction
Shay would strut down the road in heavy rain singing the soundtrack of his life: his belting louder than if he were on stage. He would move along side the parked cars as minivans and SUVs splashed water onto his drenched black converse. Shay would not miss a beat, increasing his volume as the rain grew harsher. The downpour provided a chaotic new rhythm to his quirky songs. He razed his hair with his hands causing a storm cloud above his body, and he smiled.
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1 comment:
There's a certain mental disconnect for me since I know a Shae who's a girl, but that's neither here nor there. :-P
I've been trying to decide how I feel about this little piece. The character seems to be the sort of proud outcast, different but pleased about it. Some of the wording, particularly "strut" and the definitive nature of "would not miss a beat" paint that pride more as arrogance. I like the idea of razing his hair, as though it were a structure, and the resulting cloud of mist is a cool image - one that might be a little diminished by the fact that there is actually a storm going on above/around him. This definitely painted a vivid picture in my head, so all's good there, I just wasn't sure if Shay was an object of admiration for his unique style, or an object of ridicule for being an arrogant 'rebel' sort. Good to see you posting again! :)
I deleted the first one cuz there was a typo - woops!
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